Thursday, January 21, 2010

a diversion

Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary.
So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain.
Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest.
 But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre.
The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

Since Pliny has graced us with his genius, g'head everybody, give me your best groaners ;-)


Senorita said...

OMG, that is so bad. I don't even know what more I can say.......

Not bad in an offensive way, just "OMG, that is such a dumb joke" bad.

But don't worry. I did laugh a little.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Three strings go into a bar...

The first string goes up to the bartender and asks for 3 beers.

the bartender says, "we don't serve strings in here."

The first string returns to his buddies and tells them what happened.

The second string goes up to the bar and demands three beers.

The bartender says, "I told your friend, we don't serve strings in here."

The second string goes back to his buddies.

the third string ahs an idea. He gets his friends to twist one of his ends into a ball and then unravels some of the string at the end and pulls it around the ball to look like hair.

he goes up to the bar and asks for three beers.

the bartender complies, but as the third string is heading for his table, the bartender yells to him, "Hey, aren't you one of those three strings I saw coming in?"

The string turns and says, "No, I'm a frayed Knot..."

Baboom Tissh!

mac said...

Great one Pliny !

along the same line....

A cheezeburger walks into a bar and asks for a drink.

The Bartender says, "Nope, none for you"

Miffed the Cheezeburger says, " But, I have plenty of cash, I'm polite, and my buns are pressed just so. Why can't I have a drink if I can pay for it?"

To which the bartender says......"I'm sorry, we don't serve food here"

Anonymous said...

That last one was pretty good mac.

I don't really have a joke...except this.

I can't see why there's so much dislike for prostitutes. They're consummate professionals.

mac said...

Yes, oneblood.

I suppose if one were buy-sexual, a prostitute would, indeed, be a good thing ;-)

Candice said...

What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

(Don't forget to tip your waiters)

mac said...

Yuck, Candice....good one :-)

I went to the proctologist the other day. He was going to write me a prescription. But when he reached into his pocket he pulled out a thermometer.

He looked at me and said..... "Some asshole's got my pen!"

Anonymous said...

It's 12:25 in the morning, I should be sleeping but I'm reading your butt jokes.

The last one was worth it. Thanks mac :-)

tattytiara said...

Ah haha, didn't see that coming! Very cute.

Anonymous said...

That is a a cute story.
That ogre looks familiar somehow.


Ily said...

I like your joke better than Candice's. Ew. lol